Hear how Shelley LaBeau is embracing the unknown and stepping into her dream. She has always wanted to be a travel nurse but fear kept her from taking the step…until now. She and her husband have packed up their belongings and are embarking on an adventure together.
Originally published Oct 12, 2018
Transcript link (uncorrected machine translation)
Hear how Shelley LaBeau is embracing the unknown and stepping into her dream. She has always wanted to be a travel nurse but fear kept her from taking the step…until now. She and her husband have packed up their belongings and are embarking on an adventure together.
[00:00:10] Welcome back to the I Am Virago podcast, where we get real about the struggle, drop the occasional F-bomb, and hear how amazing Virago women imperfectly navigate the world around them.
Today's guest, Shelley LaBeau, loves her life. All the little things in life. She and her husband have decided to embrace uncertainty, follow their hearts, and become travel nurses over the next year. Hear how she is practicing bravery every day in a very uncertain world. So grab that cup of ambition and let's get started.
[00:00:49] Hi, my name is Shelley. To pay the bills. I am a nurse and I'm passionate about my life in general.
[00:00:55] That's the first time I've heard that one. Tell me more about that.
[00:00:58] I mean, I feel like I really love my job. I love being a caregiver, but it's a kernel of my heart. Like other opportunities, they gap in the marriage. My wife is the week my husband's nurse. He only a few days a week. It's like we're just sort of busy enjoying ourselves. We love to cook. We love to hang out with you. Just all the little things made for kind of. It's like those are the things they just love to do. I love reading. It's no specific thing. We're kind of trying to get the hiking, but it's like any kind of thing that brings a bit of joy to my life is pretty much what I'm passionate about.
[00:01:28] It sounds like you've found the magic formula.
[00:01:33] I don't know about a magic formula. My life looks really different than I thought it would ever look. But I'm happier than I ever thought I would never be.
[00:01:40] So in this podcast near we're featuring people who are doing it and women who are doing amazing things in the world and not doing them totally perfectly, although you sound like you're pretty close to perfect. Can you talk about one recent professional or personal win?
[00:01:57] So at work, I really wanted to mix it up. I really wanted to leave like an amazing job at a hospital and be a travel nurse. And I have pretty high anxiety. So it was scary. The idea of like, let's just try this and wait because it's what a Weeting travel. No seeing. But we've decided to go for the end of August. So that's kind of what we're in now is like waiting to see where we're going to be in October. We took September off to try to get a job. And so I'm really excited, but I'm really scared of the idea of not having any income for, I don't know, two months is like kind of freaking me out. But at the same time, I feel like it's what I've wanted to do for a couple of years. And so I'm excited to go for it. And I'm just really hoping it's going to work out, but I'm feeling pretty brave about it.
[00:02:41] Wow. So you've quit your job at a hospital and in partnership with your husband. You guys are joining together and going to go be travel nurses and you don't know where yet?
[00:02:50] We don't know yet. So that's really scary. All our stuff in storage. We like staying at my mom's house. I'm driving her crazy. And we are like waiting to hear where we're going to go. No idea where it'll go. We can't plan where we're going to go. Yeah. I'm in California. California's San Diego State. So.
[00:03:08] Wow. And how long do you plan on doing the travel nursing thing?
[00:03:13] So for sure, we want to commit to a year of travel nursing because like three-month contract. So, like, you know, do for contract. Do it for a year. See how you feel. But if we if we'd love it, then we would want to do it for maybe two years. And if we don't love it, then we'll probably find a place in Washington State to live. Not Seattle, I'm thinking, because it's just so expensive. We find a place in Washington state media last year and then get jobs like there. I guess I mean, I don't know. We really haven't gotten hung out with anyone got upset.
[00:03:43] That's a wonderful though, that you're leaving it open. Yeah, that is definitely a brief thing. Congratulations. Thanks.
[00:03:53] So as as listeners of this podcast know, when things go really well, I'd love to bring it down. So can you describe one recent professional or personal struggle?
[00:04:04] Generally, the households with was really at the end of the last year was a really hard place for me to be. My manager was definitely not a fan of me and I had to kind of suck it up and finish the year just so that I could even go to my travel thing. I was dragging my feet about getting a job at another hospital. And when I look back on it in hindsight, I think I absolutely should have jumped ship. I should have gotten a job at another hospital just for a year. I was really like a really hard lesson to learn, but it taught me, like, when it's time to go, you know, it's time to go and you got to go. Like, you've got to be brave in the moment. Sometimes you shouldn't think things some. Wow.
[00:04:44] So what do you think kept you there?
[00:04:47] I think I was like completely a fear based reaction. You know, I'm 38, I'm going to be 39. And those are probably the older I get, the more I realize. So I have made a lot of decisions based on fear. And I don't watch anymore.
[00:05:00] A man. Yes. Absolutely. If we could all live our lives not coming from a place of fear, but a place of hope and curiosity, what would the world be like?
[00:05:12] I mean, fair enough. It's hard to know. It was easier to, like, make a shareholder decision because you kind of think, you know, what's going to happen if if you do this. But often what happens is so much worse than if you just rest. You know what it's like. It's really worth it to risk.
[00:05:27] I think well, it sounds like you're putting that in practice with this travel nursing adventure.
[00:05:32] Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty scared, but you are hungering for it. I mean, I definitely had, like, a little meltdown over the weekend. Like, maybe we should just move on and get drawn up.
[00:05:41] You know, Mars is like we're not there yet.
[00:05:45] I don't know, like it's been two weeks, like Beatrice. OK, OK. But I mean, definitely, you know, I'm like, we need money and we need. It's like all that stuff, you know, that scares me, you know?
[00:05:58] Yeah, of course. So as you're going through this roller coaster of emotions and being brave, what is one area in your life that you'd really like to improve bursting with limb on right now?
[00:06:11] And I realized that, like, my mom is really a great lady. And when we don't live together, we get on really well. But when we have now been living together for two weeks, I really is like, you know, there's all this repression that happens. Like for me. And it's like I'm better than. Like I can work on. So I've been thinking about stuff like that, like really letting go of like childhood hurts and really letting go of this weird expectation that people are going to be the way you want them to be or something. So that's really right now what I'm working on.
[00:06:42] How how how are you going about letting those things go? What are you doing for yourself?
[00:06:48] Well, I mean, my college at this point getting like super beautiful, real is my self about it. Like, it's not just, you know, my mom stuff. It's like, oh, this is my staff. And so really trying to be conscious of that. And then, of course, she's trying to be respectful and then it kind of bleeds out to the rest of my life like people are doing what they're doing, you know, and I need to be doing what I'm doing and not as a reaction to what, you know, is happening necessarily within reason. Of course, you know, but I need to be more like a proactive kind of person, are like, OK, this is how I feel about this. And this is what I'm working on. I think journaling a little like what's going on for me. Why am I, you know, flipping out right now about something so small and silly, you know, because there's always like another reason you're flipping out about something small and silly. It's not usually this mindful thing. So just really trying to figure out what's going on for me, how I'm actually really feeling about it, what triggers are happening and then kind of consciously moving. It was like, OK, there's that. And, you know, this is how I would like to proceed, but not allowing myself to be really unconscious. But the process is really pretty much what I'm working on right now.
[00:07:55] It's a lot of self-reflection. Yeah. Which is painful and embarrassing, but it's hopefully admissions where you mean it's not going to make me a better person.
[00:08:06] It's not super easy to reflect on behaviors that make you cringe.
[00:08:10] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, imagine you seem like a total fucker. I know you don't think I definitely as a reflection.
[00:08:19] As a mirror. Like my husband, like, hey, listen, that was like all you being real crazy, NSA, O.J., you know, but she's the person that knows another blast and he doesn't necessarily hold that against America being crazy. So it's like. And then I can live for X amount of pain. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? What am I getting out of there? So do I think I'm getting out of this.
[00:08:37] You know, it's great that you have a partner that you can trust and reflect with and who can see you at your worst and be there to be a reflection and a sounding board for you.
[00:08:48] Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm really, really lucky with him. I was married before Andy, and it was like a terrible situation. And so I definitely don't take him for granted or don't take this relationship for granted. But having a good partner like it does make life easier and better. It really does.
[00:09:05] That's so sweet. So what advice?
[00:09:08] I mean, you're going on this adventure and you're doing it despite the fact that you're scared. What advice you have for young women starting out in their careers?
[00:09:17] I think to be brave, even when you're scared, is really important. And then also, just on a really practical, practical level, I feel like I've been able to do what I want to do, a male age because I did not have children too early. So I sometimes do tell people and maybe it's not the right advice. They try to have an idea about your life, try to have the experience of your life happening the way you want it before you bring another human onto the planet. Because I think from what I have observed, what my sister tells me and my mom tells me, like when you have kids, the game is totally different and it's not just your game. So, I mean, I feel like I do whatever I want, whenever I want. How other I want because they don't have children. I always thought I'd have children. I still might. In terms of like fostering or adopting. But I don't have children. And that has kind of made my life, my life. And I think if I had had children when I was 20, which I really desperately wanted, I don't really know what my life would look like. But I would just tell people, make sure you can have an idea about what wantonly going before you introduce children to your life.
[00:10:20] That's huge. I was very lucky in my life that I had two role models in my life that were childless and very happy, and they showed me a path that that was possible. And okay. And I it's been surprising as I've gotten older, how many people are surprised and like, oh, you're not having children right now.
[00:10:40] Right. But if you're happily married, not having children, it's almost like to say, you know, strange things still, which is really funny and weird, but. Nobody ever asked me has said if he's not kid. But people ask me hostile. And when I open up.
[00:10:57] And has that been a conscious choice for you to have you discussed it?
[00:11:01] It's definitely been a conscious choice. We discussed it and we will do it for somebody better. I mean, I always wanted to be a mom, like I always wanted children. I mean, I think kids are amazing. I think being a mom has to be amazing because that's what all the moms say, you know? And I wanted it really desperately, probably twenty, twenty to thirty-five. But my husband and I married a little later, met a little later. We wanted a little time to be married. And then when it was sort of time like, are we going to do this because I'm 38, about to be 39 is really in my heart. Didn't feel like that is where I'm supposed to do. And he was OK with that either way. So we just said, OK, well, I think we're not going to have kids.
[00:11:39] So we talked a little bit earlier at the beginning about the fact that you're very passionate about your life. We read these self-help books, you know, take time, enjoy your life, enjoy the things that make it beautiful. Can you tell me a little more about how you're doing that?
[00:11:55] Well, I mean, I think first it's that I have the time to do it. So to a degree, it's like, well, I've sort of set it up so that I have a little bit of time for myself. And then with that said, I'm also really terrible at relaxing. And so, I mean, I'm definitely a person who's been like run around and keep myself busy. And then and then realizing, what am I doing? I just need to sit down and read this book or take a nap or like have a laugh. So even with the time I have to do it, it's like I still messed it up. But I'm consciously trying to enjoy it. And I think life, in general, is mostly all like a little thing. It's like every day it's not like the big trip or the big whatever. It's like all the little things add up to, like, magic. And I'm trying to keep that in mind and I'm trying to enjoy it. You know, I like my work. I see a lot of people who are really sick or who have terrible things happening in their life. And know a lot of troops have the time. PolyHeme means you bring it on ourselves for the other half of the time. It truly is bad luck. And it's like I try to just appreciate the fact that my body works and I can walk and, you know, I can eat. And there's a lot of stuff going on that people can't do that stuff. And I, I enjoy every minute of it. I want to appreciate it.
[00:13:04] It sounds like your work as a registered nurse has really helped show you how fragile life is.
[00:13:11] Yeah. I mean, it's like anything can happen at any time. And I plan so much and you can only be so careful and then you just leave it up to fee or whatever. I mean, I don't even know. Hopefully, you don't see or whatever is happening. It's like we don't get to control everything. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's just only for news. You know, I look news what or any of us could have just by chance, I'm born in Syria. You know, my life would be totally different. Having electricity and running water is like, amazing. It's a guest.
[00:13:40] Yeah. That we forget a lot. The luxuries that we have, you know, taking some time to reflect on the blessings that we have is important.
[00:13:51] Well, yeah. And everything's relative for sure. So I don't think people I mean, you know what I mean. Like when we forget about how nice and comfortable we are that we shouldn't feel bad about it. But I just try to remember it because it's so easy to like a lot more. I think you need more. Are like the grass is greener. Probably my entire 20s a Suffolk's on the grass is greener syndrome. If I just had dessert. I would be happy if I just did this. I would be happy if this I'd be happy was always like something outside my. Oh, then I'm going to be happy. And then in my thirties, it's like I actually got happy. You know, I became a nurse. They had some money. Right. And, you know, that's why I was still prone to depression and anxiety. Like nothing's ever perfect. To a degree. What you have doesn't matter because joy has to be found with what you have, not all the stuff you can have or could gather some dream, you know, over that rainbow, I'm going to do this. Well, it's like it's not real.
[00:14:44] You see, I think you have it all figured out. Oh, no. It's just it's wiser words to do it to me socially.
[00:14:56] I have an opinion. I have many opinions about this. I love it.
[00:15:00] But what makes you a Virago? I have decided it's more important for me to like myself than for other people to like me. And that was years of therapy helped me get there. But I think for me, that's it.
[00:15:13] Like, I can't Penge myself or if I'm on how other people think about me or what other people think or if they think it's acceptable or if I'm pretty bad for it's then enough. It's like that is a never-ending cycle of misery. And I've just kind of, I guess with this point opted out.
[00:15:29] Yes, absolutely.
[00:15:32] All right. So we are coming towards the end of the interview. And this is a question I like to ask my guests and take all the time. You need to consider what you might want to say, but what question do you wish you would have asked that I didn't?
[00:15:48] Gosh, you have such good questions.
[00:15:50] I think maybe, oh, Weiner saying, oh, hey, Shelley, why nursing me?
[00:15:58] So then why nursing is it? I went to school originally to be a librarian. I got a bachelor's degree in that I was going to start a master's degree. And I woke up one day like 5:00 in the morning. I woke up early in the morning and I had had this bizarre, crazy dream about being a nurse. And I just knew I supposed to be a nurse. And I remember when I told my family, they're like, you've never even been in a hospital. What are you talking about? I was like, I don't know. But I think in my heart, I'm supposed to be a nurse. And I became a nurse assistant and I frickin loved it.
[00:16:33] Which is crazy cause I really had been in the hospital until I was a nurse and I was scared of people and scared of hospitals. But I felt like I'm supposed to take care of people, you know, that's what I'm supposed to do. And it made me feel like I was doing something meaningful. Librarian ISM's course was wonderful. And my dream when I was little was to be a librarian. The libraries continue to be my favorite place. But yeah, like a dream like me to sing, which sounds super kooky hippy. But I tell the people that like you gotta go with your gut like whatever to tell them. Even if it's crazy. Do it.
[00:17:07] Wow. Wow. And you have no idea where this came from.
[00:17:12] No, I have no idea. I've never even had another dream where I woke up, like knowing something like that. It was crazy. I was twenty seven. I was like devastated to start over again.
[00:17:24] So I remember my dad told me, well, you know, you're going to be old anyway. You might not be rich. You are.
[00:17:30] Well, I think it was it was, it was accurate advice.
[00:17:38] It was. It was accurate.
[00:17:39] Was. It was. And do you let your age hold you up? You know. Oh, yeah.
[00:17:45] Yeah. Well, I know some nurses have specialties or lean in one direction. Other do you have a specialty.
[00:17:52] So I've been working as a float polders, which means I go to like all the different units and I kind of love that. I mean, it's not necessarily a specialty, but generally nurses keep afloat because they want to kind of know what they're getting when they go to work. It's already so hard and you don't necessarily know what you're getting, but you want to know what you know. Am I on? You know what I mean? And so for me and it's a joy is to show up. And they tell me, you know, you know, you're gonna go here tonight and tomorrow you can go there and like I find out where I'm going. When I show up.
[00:18:20] And then somehow in the middle of a shift of how many somewhere else. So I love bumping around. But I've been thinking that I am a trail ICU and really figure out what a what I want to do, like long term, if it's not so poor.
[00:18:34] What draws you to the ICU?
[00:18:36] You know, it's just so intense and everything is so very clear. Learning very clear explanation of of why we're doing this and what we're doing this for. And I feel like it would just improve my knowledge base in general, like I would be such a much more experienced, knowledgeable nurse. And then if I wanted to go back to Felt, I could do it. But I feel like I kind of want to get to the top of whatever I can get to in nursing and then figure out where I want to go. ICU is kind of like the big guns of nursing.
[00:19:07] I have a prediction. Okay. My prediction is that you'll be running a giant hospital someday.
[00:19:14] Oh, my gosh. I don't know.
[00:19:16] And I doubt that. But thank you for that prediction.
[00:19:20] Yeah. I'll check back in with you in a while and we'll see if that is turned out. So, Shelly, thank you so much for your time. I am sure. I'm so inspired by what you're doing and going off and traveling and having this adventure and also the fact that you take care of people. You are an amazing woman. You are virago. And I'm honored to know you in Canada.
[00:19:47] Thanks for. Let me be on your podcast score. All right.
[00:19:51] That's it. And maybe we can check in with you in a while and see how the travels have gone.
[00:19:57] Ok, that's often. That's the deal. OK. OK. Bye. My.
[00:20:05] Thank you, my Viragos, for listening to the I Am Virago podcast. Check out new episodes every Tuesday. If you have ideas or suggestions of whom you'd like to hear from on this podcast, go to IAmVirago.com and leave a message. And remember, you are Virago.